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Good relationships don’t happen overnight. They take commitment, compromise, forgiveness, and most of all – effort.
Tara Parker-Pope American author of general-audience books and Blogger The quote above was taken from a newspaper article, and while it’s aimed at romantic partners, it could equally be applied to any form of relationship, especially those found in schools. This is particularly true when one considers how staff approach the crucial task of building and, more importantly, maintaining positive relationships in all aspects of school life. In the sixties, a method of discipline and strict conformity was often used to maintain order in the classroom. It was a safe, effective way of getting through the day unscathed, and certainly untouched, by any real connection. Thankfully, times have changed, and building positive relationships plays an important role in any successful school. We’ll go further and say that if learning is to be truly effective and engaging in the modern classroom, a lack of connectedness must not be allowed to hamper the process. Nowadays, teachers and support staff alike utilise the formation of quality relationships in the classroom as their main weapon of choice. These important connections create positive links with children, build up the trust account, allow difficult situations to be tackled more easily and enable every pupil to gain confidence in the learning process. We do, however, acknowledge that more recently, a zero-tolerance approach to dealing with issues concerning poor behaviour, or non-adherence to company policy, has become the norm in some schools. Whilst this may provide a solution in the short-term, it avoids the time-consuming yet more rewarding approach of getting to know your audience. Putting in those seemingly thankless hard yards can be tough and time consuming, but we believe, in the long run, you and your pupils will reap the reward. Through building good-quality relationships, staff hold the key to successful learning and enjoyment of the learning process, for both them and their pupils. It’s worth every single moment you invest. We are not advocating quality relationships simply as a means of maintaining the status quo. We believe that if used effectively, they are a much more powerful tool and move educators towards true contentment and joy. When present and effective in schools, quality relationships encourage opportunities for fulfilment, for both staff and pupils. Enter any classroom where they are at the forefront of the experience being offered and you will notice a buzz about the place. The heart of the school will be beating strongly, and warmth will be radiating throughout the classrooms and beyond. In these schools, every pupil is visible to the teacher, and vice versa. Every pupil is valued and listened to, and dare I say, so are the staff. They will all be enjoying the collective, positive atmosphere they have had a hand in creating. I'm just blown away by how kind the teachers are to students here . . . but I think that's just a follow-on of the whole culture. You sit in the dining room, and you never have to be mindful of what you're saying because everyone's on the same side . . . the staff are supportive of each other, and I think that carries across into the classroom Suzanna Roffey - teacher, educational psychologist, academic and author. Positive relationships between all stakeholders (by which we mean anyone who is invested in the welfare and success of a school and its students,) and the community are the keystone of any thriving, joyous school. They are pivotal in bringing the community closer together. We believe this encourages a school to grow and develop into a motivated, adventurous and happy place to be – a school with an inbuilt ability to stand solid and assured against any hard times, weathering most, if not all, the issues it might face. The subtle difference between our metaphorical keystone and the one used in arch construction is simple. Both are crucial and central to the strength of what is being built. However, the keystone used in constructing arches is often the very last thing fitted, whereas the relationships keystone must be one of the first pieces of the puzzle. Once these quality relationships are in place, building a school community around them becomes so much easier. School development, effective learning and cultural strengthening flourish as a result of the engagement and goodwill of all the stakeholders. Relationships that are locked and loaded and present throughout a school, from the front office to the corridors and cascading out of the staffroom, are crucial to its wellbeing. They break down barriers, encourage trust and confidence in each other and, more importantly, confidence in the systems and structures that the school is promoting and supporting. Staff who understand the importance of strong relationships in the workplace make meaningful connections across the school and encourage their colleagues to do the same. They are pathologically optimistic and see the best in staff and children alike. This attitude helps them to create schools with a confident, caring and supportive atmosphere, allowing them to embrace the day-to-day business of running a school without being overwhelmed. We have come across many such schools up and down the country that ooze this kind of positivity. “How do you identify them?” I hear you ask. “What’s your criteria?” The truth is, we don’t have a particular checklist because this quality is so easy to detect when you are looking for it. You can almost smell it as you drive into the car park. If you don’t believe me, next time you visit a school, have a go at analysing the school atmosphere yourself. There’s no need for a pen and paper, just start your voyage at the front office and continue through to the classrooms and beyond. In the schools that have nurtured strong relationships, you will notice positivity permeating the building like a breath of fresh air. The first thing you’ll notice in such welcoming schools is the buzz; it’s a kind of hum, an energy. These places have a warmth to them; an evangelical openness to share the good news about their school from the get-go. We believe that if the school is positive and accessible to its community then you can guarantee the children will be on point and the staff motivated and confident. As you walk around, the narrative you’ll absorb in the corridors and staffrooms will be optimistic and energised. All the teachers, pupils and support staff will be enjoying the process of learning and the strong relationships they have created with each other. In schools where good relationships are a little harder to detect, the atmosphere lingers like a bad odour - a kind of fog. In these establishments, you might well find that staff are defensive, cautious, wary and pessimistic. Not all at once, and not necessarily in that order, but I think you get the picture. In some schools, policies, structure and detail (the business documents) have replaced the heart and soul of the building. The leadership has become distracted with onerous bureaucracy and is fully absorbed in tackling the demands this puts on them. Inevitably, this moves them subtly away from nurturing the soul of the school to running the business of the school. (We do, however, acknowledge that during the challenging period of the Covid-19 pandemic, tending to anything other than the day-to-day distractions would have been nigh on impossible.) Dealing with the bureaucracy absorbs so much time, and the ensuing directives are delivered at a relentless pace, often leading to overload, strategy fatigue and even further isolation. Obviously, we’re not advocating that staff should suddenly start hugging and fist bumping, but we strongly believe that if schools concentrate on making profound personal connections, they will be far better equipped to tackle change and improve the school. This will probably have a greater impact on improving the school than yet another delivered directive. Well, the good news is that staff tend to get the school they have created or permitted – the school they deserve. Yes, leadership certainly plays an important role in setting and encouraging the daily tone and modelling the kind of school they have envisioned. However, anybody can contribute, and an all-hands-on-deck approach is most welcome. We encourage you to join in whenever you want; it will make such a difference. What great news to finish on! Whoever you are and whatever your role, you have as much power as the next person to transform the culture of your school. If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all. Thumper- Bambi (1942) If what you’ve read resonates, visit www.educaveman.co.uk. EduCaveman is an empowering book for ALL educators which dares to dream of the schools we all want. It marries a nourishing blend of humour with school reality which invites teachers and school leaders to reflect on, and move beyond, some of the more grating and long accepted educational practices. Prioritising people over paper, EduCaveman is a refreshing elixir which oozes practical positivity and imbues professional confidence. EduCaveman will be available to purchase in the Summer Term
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One of the things that has always struck me as odd, and a little depressing, is the propensity of some people to focus on the negative. I guess I notice this more than the average person as my natural disposition is so often one of blind positivity and optimism (beautifully captured in Taylor Swift’s song Dear John). I have been told on more than one occasion that this is a little irritating, which, to be honest, is a fair comment. That said, I’m sure I’m one of many who choose to think this way. I can’t help it, and I don’t know why, but this is just the way I am wired. Life has certainly not been a bed of roses, and I’ve faced my fair share of adversity, but when the chips are down, I can always fall back on my default thinking, which, to quote Oscar Wilde, assures me that, “Everything is going to be fine in the end. If it’s not fine, it’s not the end.”
Over recent years, though, I have found myself developing an antipathy and a growing resistance to phrases such as: “Assume the worst and you’ll be pleasantly surprised.” “Plan for the worst-case scenario and anything else will be a bonus.” “Expect the worst in people and you won’t feel let down.” For me, these phrases are utterly counterintuitive and leave me cold. In fact, I can distinctly remember members of my family making disparaging, tongue-in-cheek remarks about my misplaced utopian view of the world. My retorts were just as barbed. “Must be a joy to live in your cynical world!” Notwithstanding these frequent jibes, I have remained steadfast in my positivity and belief in the goodness of humanity. On reflection, I guess that is why the profession of teaching, for me, was such a good fit; it provided a chance to serve a system that shapes young minds for the good. To me, whether you’re working with children in a nursery or enjoying lunch in a bustling university refectory, the sense of hope and purpose is palpable. Where better to deploy some relentless optimism? Anyway, over the last ten years or so, in my work with trainees, ECTs, Senior Leaders and Headteachers I have sensed a phenomenon which led me to carry out a little more research to investigate whether what I was noticing was an actual thing… It transpires that it was. The negativity bias can be our inclination to embrace negative stimuli more strongly than positive stimuli. We discovered that we have a tendency both to linger on it and remember it for longer. We also learned that the negativity bias can mean that our brains register personal and hurtful comments far more deeply than a piece of hugely positive feedback from a trusted friend or colleague. People may well:
I will now look at each of these four assertions through the eyes of an educator. However, before I do this, I would like to make three personal observations that may help you understand why teachers and leaders may be predisposed to this way of thinking and/or feeling. 1. You criticise my teaching/school, you criticise my very being Teaching is in the blood. It’s a vocation. Speak to any educator and they will make no bones about the fact that this job is heart and soul stuff; it’s deeply personal. If you work in education, the simple truth is that you give it your all, and then some. The bottom line isn’t profit. It’s about something far more important than that: life chances. No educator ever wakes up in the morning, ponders the day ahead, and says, “Today I’ll aim for mediocrity.” They may well aim for survival, but certainly not mediocrity. Programmed into every educator’s DNA is the assumption that every interaction with a pupil could be the one that changes their life. Educators invest in their pupils, and they keep investing, day after day, term after term, year after year. They back their pupils and they back them some more. They invest emotionally, even when their own emotional wells have run dry. To say that teaching or school leadership is an emotional job, is to underplay it. 2. The deficit model of education Let me transport you back to your teacher training. Remember it? If you were in any way prone to sensitivity this would have been a tough time. I distinctly recall my paper-thin skin thickening as I naively navigated the early months of my training. For me, it was an emotional battleground on which development and professional growth was built upon a relentless focus on what I wasn’t doing and the skills I hadn’t yet mastered. I distinctly recall nailing an ongoing target (ensuring an appropriate balance of teacher talk versus pupil talk), and looking forward to receiving some positive feedback. I was like a child knowing that I would be going to the sweet shop after school. Sadly, the reality was thoroughly underwhelming. Yes, my progress against the target was acknowledged, but for the remaining fifty-nine minutes and thirty seconds of the sixty-minute feedback session, we focused on new deficits. Ring any bells? Weirdly, or depressingly, I adapted and came to normalise this perverse way of working. Given that I didn’t know any different, I just assumed that this was how it was in education. And even after nearly twenty years, it didn’t stop – and it still hasn’t. Whether you’re a teacher or a leader, you’ll experience the same phenomenon – from appraisals to pupil progress meetings, from book looks to lesson observations, from governing body meetings to parent forums, and from local authority reviews to health and safety audits – the list just goes on and on . . . And the common thread running through all these systems? As sure as night follows day, you can be certain to find a relentless, unswerving focus on: · Weaknesses · Next steps · Gaps · Even better ifs · Missed targets I began to make a mental note of the time spent evaluating success or strengths compared to the time spent on weaknesses. You won’t be surprised with the findings. I like to call this the deficit model of education. It’s staggeringly unbalanced and if we adopted it with the pupils in our care, we would be nominated at the Teaching Awards in the category of Most Demotivating Teacher. Don’t get me wrong. I am not for one moment advocating that we ignore or overlook areas for development. Not at all. I just think we need to be more balanced in weighing them up with the strengths. Each should be given equal weighting. Moreover, surely we need to be more discerning about when to provide developmental feedback? To win the war, it’s not always beneficial to wage every battle. 3. Use of helpful language Connected to this, and a point worth making, is the use of language within the deficit model. If you listen closely enough, educational vernacular is never far from words such as scrutiny, forensic, inadequate, etc. In fact, if you look closely enough, you’ll even see this sort of language in education’s Ten Commandments, otherwise known as the Teachers’ Standards. The preamble describes the requirement for teachers to be ‘self-critical’. Not ‘reflective’ but ‘self-critical’! That’s hardly language to rouse the soul or foster encouragement. Or maybe it’s just me . . . When you chuck in a global pandemic, I think that some of those working in education move beyond the negativity bias, and experience what we call, the extreme negativity bias. Although a fictional phenomenon, the extreme negativity bias, in my experience, can be very real for teachers and school leaders alike. Taken individually, it is not comfortable to see but collectively, the effects may well be amplified… Collectively, educators shouldering the extreme negativity bias do not make for happy staffrooms, schools, or systems… As schools seek to return to a more normal rhythm following the pandemic, there has never been a better time to focus on getting our culture right in schools and in education. If we can get the culture right, we build a hugely strong foundation on which school development can flourish. If what you’ve read resonates, visit www.educaveman.co.uk. EduCaveman is an empowering book for ALL educators which dares to dream of the schools we all want. It marries a nourishing blend of humour with school reality which invites teachers and school leaders to reflect on, and move beyond, some of the more grating and long accepted educational practices. Prioritising people over paper, EduCaveman is a refreshing elixir which oozes practical positivity and imbues professional confidence. EduCaveman will be available to purchase in the Summer Term |
Dave Cole and
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